


All the things I never told you

by Queerquest



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Korrasami is Canon, Love Letters, Republic City, Unrequited Love, asami is too afraid to send letters, asami kept writing to korra when no one else would, self doubt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queerquest/pseuds/Queerquest
Summary: A compilation of all the letters Asami never sent to Korra during her three year stay at the South Pole.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 26
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I write for fun this kind of story is new to me so if you have any suggestions they would be much appreciated!

Dear Korra,

It's been three weeks. Three whole weeks since you left for the South Pole. How are your parents? And Katara? Tenzin told me you made the decision to stay longer so you can take more time to heal. You didn't ask but I think that's a great idea, it'll give you more time to recooperate and visit family and friends you haven't seen in awhile. From the bottom of my heart I hope your doing okay, I miss you so much. Republic City really does feel empty without you here to the point where I can't remember what it felt like without your presence.

We've gotten closer than I could have ever imagined this past year. I guess after the whole Mako mess it gave us time to look at ourselves as simply people rather than competitors or enemies, not that I ever saw you as an enemy persay. Part of me wonders how two people who were once so cold and distant became so close in the first place. Oftentimes I lie awake at night worrying about you. Is that weird? Maybe it is but that day, at Laghima's Peak and the surrounding area where you battled Zaheer. Watching you fall from the sky beaten, bloodied and poisned. Sitting lifelessly in your dad's arms. I thought I was going to lose you. The thought still haunts me whenever I drift to far into my own thoughts or when a bad dream jolts me awake at the dead of night.

I was helpless- I felt the same hatred towards Zaheer that My dad felt towards Bender's. It was scary, the fact that even just for a second, having to admit I could have related to my father in that way. The truth is, I can't imagine my life without you. As weird as it may seem you are everything to me Korra. You're the reason I check my mailbox in the mornings, eagerly waiting for your response, the reason my cabinet is stocked with junk food I don't even eat, the reason I'm able to withstand excruciating hours in the office. You are the reason my life is worth living, and not just living but also enjoying.

I was never suicidal but there was always apart of me, ever since my mom passed that hated living. The same routines every single day. Long hours of self-defense classes my father shoved down my throat, highclass meetings with corrupt socialites, and laying in my bed staring at my ceiling are the common memories I have of my childhood. Everything changed when you came to Republic City, it changed the night of that ball. 

You were beautiful, you always are, and probably always have been. I can still vividly picture you in that deep blue Water Tribe dress with your cute little signature hairstyle. Something drew me to you and at the time I wasn't sure what. I know what it was now.

You changed my life. You gave me a family, a real one. It's messy and crazy, but it's mine. Ours, rather. I can't imagine what my life would be like without it. Without you.

At first you hated me, you don't have to lie, I know you did. I also know it wasn't really anything I did. You wanted Mako and I had him at the time, I promise you I would have likely felt the same in your situation. The thing is, the more you hated me, the more I wanted to prove you wrong. Show you that I was cool or I don't know? worth being your friend? It sounds dumb I know it does.

But hey, I did it. Days later I got you in that car and on my prized racetrack and we had the time of our life, atleast I know for sure you did. I could practically hear your fingernails digging into the leather seat as we took a sharp turn, and the smile plastered on your face when we got out was straight out of a fairytale. The wave of relief that came over me during the talk we had soon after. The one where you admitted you had me pegged wrong, do you remember that? Did you know my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it outside of my chest? Did you feel the same?

I'm sorry if this is freaking you out. I might not send this. I want you to know the way in which I feel for you, but another part worries you'll leave for good. Especially if you don't feel the same, which i'm sure you don't. How could you? How could someone as brave, as kind, and good as you love someone like me? You risked your whole life for a dying nation and here I am trying to convince myself not to send you a love letter at 3:00 A.M because I know it's selfish, your trying to heal, you don't need me. If you did I'd be in the South Pole right now not writing this letter to you.

Part of me knows things will get back to normal. Company functions will return to busy speed, things have been slow lately resulting in...well this. but spirits, this is eating me alive, Korra. I imagine whatever I'm going through it's worse for you having to sit in that god damn bed all day. I hate that, I hate what they did to you, and I love you. I wish you were here, I wish I could comfort you, but you're about 1,000 miles away.

A painstakingly awful situation indeed. I can't wait to see you. I'm always here if you need to talk, I know I said it once but I'd say it a million times, and perhaps a million more if it meant making the difference that made you see yourself the way I see you. Please take care of yourself.

Love, Asami


	2. If I could save you I would

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami channels her anger at Avatar Cycle in letter form.

Dear Korra,

I'm angry. Undeniably angry, the kind of anger that bubbles up in your stomach and settles as an unmalleable lump in your throat. The kind you're taught to swallow, ignore, and go on with the rest of your day. Atleast that's what my father always said. (kind of ironic, don't remind me). But what happens when it comes back again and again, day after day, and night after night? 

That horrible feeling of uncertainty and misery pools inside of me sometimes becoming too much to handle on my own. Everytime I think of you and what you went through it comes back. It makes my speech labored and raspy in the middle of a meeting and just when I start to feel tears pooling in my eyes Tenzin or some other official forces me to excuse myself and pull it together.

I've spent the past couple of weeks in public bathroom stalls crying like an idiot. I don't know whether it's anxiety or the fact that I miss you horribly. Maybe an unsavory mix of both factors. I've said it more times than I can count in letters I actually end up sending- I miss you, I miss you so much it aches. Physically, it aches to think about you, wondering where you are, what you're doing, if you slept good and got enough to eat. Hoping you weren't awoken by another nightmare, and willing myself not to book the next book out to the South Pole to check up on you. "If you wanted me there you'd of already asked" I remind myself, it's better for you this way. This is what you wanted.

From how I'm wording this it seems like I'm mad at you. Really, I'm not. I'm just furious that you're the Avatar... Wow, that doesn't sound any better does it? What I mean is you save everyone. You saved me, Mako, and Bolin more times than anyone can count on their own hands or even with their mind. You saved thousands of Bender's from the hands of my father and Amon. You saved the spirits and the spiritual link between the South Pole and the Spirit World. Vaatu, you saved a whole nation from the threat of extinction and every single Avatar that comes after you. All this is just the tip of the ice berg, and yet it angers me.

How could I not be angry? You do so much for the world, for Republic City, and for the people you love yet this happens to you. Because we couldn't save you. I couldn't save you. Nor could Jinora or the other Airbenders despite their best efforts. How unfair is that? One person in charge of guarding the whole worlds spiritual and physical safety. It sounds exhausting, really, I don't know how you do it. Sometimes I wish you didn't.

And through it all they treat you like garbage. Raiko, the citizens of the city they act as if you haven't saved them. As if you didn't protect and serve the city with your life on the line. Someone seriously needs to give that man some common sense or one of these days I might lose my temper and knock it into him myself. As for the citizens I know what you'd say. You've said it to me before and you probably will say it to me again in the future. "It doesn't matter what they think of me. It matters that they are safe." You don't seem to know, and if you do know you hide it well but you've grown into one of the most compassionate and selfless person I've ever had the privilege of knowing.

Yet I still find myself wishing you were selfish. Not in the way you could be at times when I first met you. But in the way that when faced with the choice between your life and the lives of others you would choose your own without a second thought, even just once. I know it's wrong to think that- what you did... it was incredibly brave. You saved an entire culture from a second wave of extinction. Your sacrifice will be remembered in the eyes of history for centuries. I'm so proud of how far you've come. I really am Korra.

That doesn't change the fact that I find myself in a cold sweat every single night, replaying the events of those horrible couple of days on the trip back to Air Temple Island. Your screaming and thrashing in the healing pool as the healers worked on a tough bruise. Waking you up from a nightmare and comforting you while you fell back to sleep. And watching you stare hopelessly at a wall, watching you having to go through all that with little I could do to help made me wish you decided to save yourself for once. 

Because if your not selfish enough to do it yourself then who saves you? Trust me, if I could save you I would. I would move mountains like your past life Kyoshi if it meant keeping you alive, healthy, and proected. I would risk my own life to keep you at bay. But that day I couldn't, I'm not all powerful nor do I have the abilities to be. I wasn't born special nor did I aquire any traits in my twenty years of living that would classify me as such. I couldn't save you and niether could the rest of Team Avatar or anyone helping us because the world depends soley on you.

That's such a shitty system. The world shouldn't depend solely on one person, it's not fair. Not for the friends and family who have to watch their loved one get hurt, struggle, or die trying to save the world and everyone on it. Definitely not for the Avatar who has to get hurt every time some physcopathic criminal crosses their path. 

Do you ever think Avatar Wan regreted binding himself with Raava? I mean he started something so large, something that affected so many people including himself. He suddenly was the one person the world depended on and not only that but he bounded seemingly an infinite amount of people to the same fate.

It isn't all bad I suppose. Without you, and without the other Avatars the world would probably be much worse off than it is right now. Sometimes it's hard to think about the positives of a situation when you are always most affected by the negatives. 

One day when we're old. And yes I imagine all of us, Mako, Bolin, you, and I growing spiteful and old together. I hope that the world stays at peace so we can be at peace, together. I miss you Korra, I hope your doing ok. This shouldn't have happened, Hopefully nothing like this ever happens to you ever again. If I could change the way things went that day, know I would. No matter what it would have taken I would, without a second thought.

Love, Asami


	3. In a letter I wrote, yet never sent.

Dear Korra,

I have a habit of writing letters and not sending them to you. It sounds unorthodox I know. I always mean to. I sit in my bed in the late hours of the evening. Convincing myself that the next day I'll slip the letter into my mailbox and let the envelope find it's way to the South Pole. Into your hands. 

Regardless, a large chest sits in my room under my bed. In that chest is a variety of letters, all of which are meant for you. If It wasn't for my cowardice you would get letters from me far more often. This very letter may end up being an addition to that chest if I find myself once again chickening out on sending this to you. It's likely that I will, I've never been quite as brave as you, have I?

That being said I noticed something about the first letter I never sent. I asked how Katara was and how your parents were doing. Yet I never asked how you were doing in any letter sent out to the South Pole or kept here in the confines of the estate. Deep down, it's likely I'm scared of the answer. Too scared to know and accept that you're hurt and there isn't a damn thing I could do to change that for you. I've tried to understand it and accept that the best thing to do is give you space. But I just can't seem to find in me to let you go.

I could lie and say that I didn't ask because it's none of my buisness, but that wouldn't make sense would it? You're my bestfriend, the only girl friend I've ever had. It became my buisness all those years ago when I betrayed my father to help you defeat Amon and the Equalists. Even more so on that day I took you driving for the first time. Do you remember that amazing talk we had?

The one that smoothed out all the troubles of that past year and confirmed the start of our friendship as well as the end of our rivalry. I think about that moment alot, everything is so different now, You've changed. Not that Mako, Bolin, or even I haven't. It's not even the fact that it's a bad change, in actuality it's a really good change. 

The kind of change I wasn't aware people could make in themselves before you proved me wrong. You've grown to be more compassionate, patient, caring, and much more. Was it worth it? The pain, the trauma? You can be honest with me, I'd understand if you were hesitant to say it was.

All those years ago I could ask you how you were doing and I would know you were doing fine. I never worried about you because you were a ray of light in even the darkest of points of our struggles and fights. Sure, maybe Raiko had done something to piss you off or maybe you had a bad day. But you were generally happy, and healthy, and you were here in the city with us. 

All that's different now, everytime I looked at you after the accident all I saw were your eyes. Those beautiful eyes that once held experiences of multiple lifetimes. Yet you've already had to go through more pain than most of them combined. How could you not be sad? How could it suprise me that you went to the South Pole? We know each other better than anyone and I know you would never willingly let people see you like that. That's why this must be so difficult for you, maybe even why you won't even let me visit in the first place. Was it the reason you even thought of running home in the first place?

You can't lie to me and we both know that. You hated that compound, the one they kept you in for seventeen years to protect you. You told me yourself. You went back there because you're so damn stubborn you'd rather suffer in silence than ask for help and I hate you for it. That's a lie, I could never hate you Korra. I loathe the situation, the fact that Mako and Bolin are blind in ways that I simply don't find myself relating when it comes to you.

Mako and Bolin, I love them but they're naive. They don't get us the way we get eachother. Did we always understand one another like this? The other day I was trying to remember just when it clicked. The moment I could read your annoyance in the form of a blank face from across the room, or when I could tell if you were upset or had simply lost your train of thought just by the sound of your answer when someone called your name repeatedly in an attempt to snap you out of a blanken daze. 

One day I might be able to say it happened that day you saved me from being impaled by Varrick's dart, or when you almost crashed my Sato-Mobile, or that day in the Si Wong Desert where we worked like a well-oiled machine together. Is that right? Did it happen all at once? Can you fall in love with someone in a single moment? Or is it the accumulation of every single little detail that proves that this person was made for you?

Wow, "love". It's a strong word and one I don't use lightly. In fact, I've only ever told two people I loved them. My mom and my dad- we both know how that went. One is dead and the other in prison. I think maybe that's why I'm scared to tell you how I feel, there's a chance you'd leave. A big chance if we're being brutally honest. I've already lost so many people. They left or died and there was nothing anyone could do to prevent that. This time I'm in control, my actions decide what happens. I almost lost you once and I can't do it again. 

But I think I love you Korra. And I know that I shouldn't. 

That being said, if writing letters I know I'll never send aids in dulling the pain of your absence I'll do it. Not because it makes me feel better, rather I know it's the right thing to do. What good would telling you do? Especially right now? You're healing and you don't need one more awful, confusing thing to think about. What kind of friend would I be springing something like that on you?

Maybe the type of friend who doesn't want to be just friends... No, the choices and outcomes are simple. I can write you a letter and wait for you to reject me and possibly never come back to Republic City. Although, maybe you wouldn't reject me. Maybe you feel the same way, but what are the chances of that?

I could do that, risk everything our friendship. Possibly our friendships with Mako and Bolin as well simply for my own conflicting feelings. Or I can play it safe, keep you at arm's distance. I can love you as a friend even if I wish we were more. I can still be there for you, I have to. It's that or losing you forever.

If i'm being honest it's easier not to tell you. For my sake and yours. I'm messy and maybe you are too but you're dealing with your own mess and you shouldn't have to deal with mine too. This can wait, it has to wait. 

Just a few more weeks right? You'll be back soon? It's been just over two months and I miss you Korra. When all of this is over and it's just us and the gang then I won't have an excuse. I hope you'll be okay, deep down I know you will, you're strong. Stronger than me and stronger than anyone I know. Whatever happens it's worth the wait. You're worth the wait.

Love, Asami.


	4. Keeping busy.

Dear Korra, 

Korra! You'll never believe what happened! I just signed a contract to help redesign Republic City's infrastructure! Much to Raiko's dismay over "budgeting concerns". I don't really see why budgeting is more of a concern than the wellbeing of our home. Certain parts of the city are still in dissaray after your battle with UnaVaatu. (Not that it's your fault. Damn Raiko won't do anything about it.) 

You and I have seen the city personally over the years. Even before the destruction that took place that day there was still changes that needed to be made. Thousands live on the streets or in small, practically unlivable shanties. If anything, the damage your battle caused will end up doing more good in the long run. 

We'll be able to build apartments that can hold hundreds in smaller spaces. People that have been homeless due to lack of living space will be able to buy a home and live comfortably. It just goes to show that even things you label as your "failures" usually end up helping others.

I've been keeping pretty busy the past few days since the deal became official. Working with Raiko and the other buisness people has been challenging to say the least. Work seems to be piling up and I'm the only one willing to do it. Not that I'm complaining, if you can't get it done right you might as well do it yourself. I have a hunch that late nights in the office might become more common.

Speaking of keeping busy, how have you been doing? Mako and Bolin have been wondering. I lied and told them we haven't been keeping in touch. But I still want to know for my sake.

I know I wrote that I didn't like asking you that. There's a part of me that believes you don't like talking about it either but there's only so long I can go without knowing. I wrote to Kya last week, I don't know if she told you. For my sake I hope she didn't. 

I don't know why, me and Kya have never been all that close. She's nice, don't get me wrong. It just felt very sudden sitting down and writing a letter to someone I'd only talked to once or twice. Maybe I was desperate to know how you were doing, part of me knows that when you tell me you're doing fine you're not.

Turns out I'm right. According to her you're still having nightmares, you can't walk yet, and you're having outbursts, among other things. Why did you lie to me? Can I really even call it a lie? I didn't ask you directly if those things were happening. Vaatu, I didn't even ask you how you were doing. I'm an idiot Korra. I really am.

How were you supposed to respond to my letter? I literally said "how are things in the south?". Of course you're not going to indulge me in the trauma you've faced in the past 6 months as a response. Wow... it really has been that long hasn't it? Six months, half a year. Somehow it feels like it's been years.

I'm sorry I haven't written as many letters. It's not as if you write back as often but you actually have a good excuse. I simply don't know what to say... Something I admire about you is that over the years your compassion has allowed you to relate to others in a way I never could have imagined.

Me and Opal were talking the other day, she was helping me come up with sketches for rebuilding as apart of her tasks for the remodeling of Air Nation culture. We ended up talking about you, how good of a teacher you were for Opal when you two first met. Despite the fact you hadn't ever taught anyone in your life. Did you know you're one of the reasons Opal even decided to leave Zaofu?

She was so scared to leave her home for something new and unfamiliar. But with you as her teacher and friend and an extra push from our esteemed cheif of police she made the choice to take her chances. Alot of the new Airbenders agree it would have been alot harder to make the change without your encouragement and sacrifice.

You inspire people Korra, not because you're the Avatar or because you have an infinite amount of power. More so, because you've struggled like everyone of us and you still find a way to get back up, and end up getting even stronger from the experience. You found a way after Amon, Unalaaq and Vaatu, and now the Red Lotus and Zaheer. You're working so hard, just remember that you always have a place in Republic City.

You always have a place with me. If you wanted it that is. Knowing you, you probably would just tell me you're fine even if I sent this letter out. You'd deny everything Kya said despite the fact that we both know the truth. 

I'll let you be stubborn. I'll let you win this once. You're going through stuff, I just hope you know I'm here. You seem to have created this illusion that the idea of me heading to the South Pole would be an issue. The reality is that, if you asked, I would drop everything. My company, my plans, I'd cancel everything to be with you for as long as you wanted.

Spirits, you'd probably end up forcing me back on a ship to Republic City. To put it simply- I'm not sure what would be worse. Seeing you after six months only to leave and not see you again for who knows how long. Or going without seeing you, and waiting until you come back for good. Which could be any day now... or it could be another six months.

I don't want to rush you. You shouldn't come back for Mako, or Bolin, or me. You shouldn't come back because or Raiko or whatever is happening in the Earth Kingdom, when you come back it should be on your own terms. It should be when you decide you're ready. We all know you deserve that much.

I know you deserve better, I'm sorry I can't give that to you. I miss you Korra. I'll be sure to keep you up to date in less forward letters I actually send out to the South. 

Love, Asami.


	5. Glue

Dear Korra, 

I hung out with Mako the other day, he seems like he's doing okay. It had been awhile since we last saw each other, probably since you left for the South Pole. He's always so busy with the force and me with reconstruction. Honestly it was weird seeing him without Bolin and more importantly without you.

I've realized something more and more since the moment you left Republic City. You are the glue that holds Team Avatar together. I guess that makes sense doesn't it? I mean you are the Avatar afterall. Really though, it's more than that. 

You were the one who initially brought us together when you snuck into that pro-bending match. You let Mako and Bolin, and later me. You kept us together through thick and thin. Wether it was relationship struggles or moral betrayals you chose to see the best in every single one of us. Sometimes even before we saw it in ourselves.

I mean seriously, if Mako had been that much of a jerk to me when we first met I would have cut and run. Honestly if it weren't for you I would have cut my losses and ghosted him after the whole "cheating" incident. If that's what you can even call it.

My point is, you're probably one of the best people anyone could ever have as a friend. Which is ironic seeing that you grew up in an isolated compound in the South Pole. Where anyone else would have been akward and reserved you were outgoing and bright.

People look at us, Team Avatar, and they think we were brought together because of the Avatar. When really, it had nothing to do with your elemental powers. It was always you, seriously Korra, you're amazing.

I look forward to seeing you everyday. Coming to terms with how I feel about you- it's been difficult. I know I don't see us as "just friends" but you? That's all you see us as. That scares me. What if I lose you, lose what we have because I can't put my feelings aside?

It's better this way. I have to believe that if you felt the same way things would have been different. That something would have happened, anything, but it never did. Maybe you do feel the same? That would explain glances and smiled you've given me, with a look I could never quite read properly. Is it worth the risk?

I want to say it is. Really, it's not. I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all even if it hurts... is there really any use in wondering what could be? Especially when the chances you feel the same are slim to none?

Do you think it was this hard for Mako? I considered asking him for advice at one point. The thought of asking my ex for advice about getting with his ex made me stray clear from that. Of course I could have said it was someone different but I've never been a good liar. He would probably be able to see through it if I didn't slip first.

Maybe I'm overthinking. I just wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you in person. Anything would be better than hours slouched over a desk writing letters. Half of which never even make it into your embrace. 

I think somedays I might end up ruining myself over this. I can't focus, or eat, or even sleep. No matter how hard I try I can't ignore you. Rather, I can't ignore the fact that you're gone.

The fact that Bolin is working with that woman. What was her name... the one that saved your dad at Laghima’s Point? Ah! Kuvira! Anyways, he's been gone for a couple months now. Apparently he's "saving" the Earth Kingdom. It sounds complicated but he's happy so I'm happy for him.

Then there's Mako who's here, living less than fifteen minutes away from me. Which only makes it more frustrating that we never see eachother. He's busy with police stuff, and I try to remind myself that. It still hurts.

It hurts that they're gone. That you're gone. Our little makeshift family is seperate for now and I feel all alone. I find myself at Air Temple Island often. It's comforting being around the little Airbenders, Jinora, Tenzin, Kya, and all the others. 

It reminds me that this situation isn't permanent. Even if it feels that way sometimes. I don't mean to be depressing, sorry if it came off that way. I'm just angry and sad... and so so alone.

I miss you.

Love, Asami.


	6. Avatar Korra Park

Dear Korra,

Do you remember the Republic City Central Park? I remember our walks with Mako and Bolin throughout the park. Also our days hiding from equalists with the help of the homeless folk of the city.

That park was always so run down and beat. It has and always had the potential to be so much more. I know you felt the same. We talked about it multiple times.

Well... I did a thing. 

"The thing" as Varrick would call it. (and trust me he has, multiple times.). 

I've written Bolin letters to keep in contact while they're away and occasionally Varrick will send me a letter along with him. Sometimes I swear I can hear that mans voice through the ink.

Anyways, I made a statue. In the middle of the park. It stands as a symbol of bravery, strength, loyalty, and much more. It's a statue of you. And just like you it helps to remind everyone who sees it that we can be just as brave as you if we really try. Unlike you, the stone sculpture is extremely tall.

You don't know how much I've missed that.

I miss you. I miss our talks and our jokes, I call you short then you make fun of my undeniable perfectionism. I miss making fun of Mako together, trust me it's not as fun alone, I've tried. He's a great guy really but sometimes he's so stiff. It's because of how he was raised and I try to remind myself of that but sometimes it still irks me.

I'm pretty sure he misses you alot, I don't know how often he writes anymore. Trust me he misses you more than he'd care too admit and I honestly can't blame him 

I simply cannot wait to show you around the park. Which leads me to the next point. "Republic City Central Park" is no more. I purchased the park, and renamed it. Is that crazy? Is building a statue and renaming the park in your honor creepy? I really hope you don't see it that way.

I just want you to know your loved and appreciated. Even when it feels like the world hates you or doesn't need you anymore as you've told me. (that's not true!). No matter what, I love you, I appreciate you, and I need you. More than anything. One day I hope you'll see that and it will be enough to convince you that you're worth everything and more. 

"Avatar Korra Park" 

A place in your honor. You deserve it, you deserve everything and more. I know it's not much but I'm working really hard to make it yours. Hopefully it will be a place where people can join together and have fun in peace. I know that's something you'd like, and when you come back we can do even more to make it a unique place in Republic City.

Even the Airbenders are helping! Opal, Kai, Jinora, and all the others are picking up all the debris and litter as well as planting trees and flowers all around. Turtle duck and other wildlife have finally started to return to the area. We're all really excited to show you the place. Well maybe not everyone...

You should have seen the look on Raiko's face. He was furious! Apparently he had something 'better' planned for that plot of land. But it's not his decision anymore, I would have paid good money to get you here to see the look on his face. Beifong had to escort him out of the building through his little tantrum.

I've got to admit it was kind of pathetic. It just goes to serve that although some people have the drive and willpower to drastically change and adapt to their environment. Others never will, that's what makes you special. It seperates you from all the other people in this world wether they are considered good or bad people.

I'm not really sure what else to write you. I just thought you should know how much you mean to the world. How much you mean to me. I really miss you Korra. I hope your doing okay, you haven't written in awhile. I'm trying to give you your space, healing is likely hard for you and you need time. Just know i'm here for you. For anything and everything you might need.

Girl talk and all. Always.

Love, Asami.


	7. the possibility of losing you

Dear Korra, 

I never thought in a million years that I was this kind of person. The kind of person who writes letters and shoves them in a box. The kind of person who writes letters and sends them out knowing she's not going to get a response back.

Spirits, you must think I'm a loser. You've never written back. Not once. Today marks one year. No letters, nothing. Yet I can't bring myself to stop writing. I can't bring myself to believe that it would be the right thing to do. Part of me still convinced myself that you read them.

But on bad days where I'm convinced you'll never come back I feel that maybe you did what I did. I stuck every letter my father ever sent me into a box in storage. Not because I don't care what he has to say or that I don't love him, although it's complicated. I'm just scared to see him again. The last time I saw my father he was quite literally willing to kill me for the Equalist cause.

Maybe if I write something good enough, something important enough you'll respond. You'll realize how much I love you, how much your family and friends love you even though you've managed to convince yourself otherwise. How could I stop writing to you when that possibility still stands?

I lost my mom, I couldn't control her death in the mansion, the place I call my home. I lost my dad, I couldn't control that either, he tainted the vision of my life. The way I see the estate, our legacy, everything changed. But I can control this- maybe. I can choose to be there for you. Even if you don't appreciate it right now.

Because you were there for me, you had every right to dump me after what happened with the Equalists. You could have thought I was involved somehow, or maybe you would have said you didn't want to associate with people who were around that environment but you didn't.

You chose to be my friend throughout boy troubles, terrorist groups, and civil wars. Your sleepovers made nights that would otherwise have been spent at the mansion bearable. As well as Days spent roaming around the Earth Kingdom or exploring Zaofu for the first time all the more fun. And about a hundred million more things that couldn't possibly fit on one sheet of paper

So a couple weeks ago when I sat in the workshop of the Sato estate for days on end repainting my car a shade of dark blue that reminded me of you I couldn't stop until the paint fumes nearly caused me to pass out. I don't know why I decided to do it, I always loved my car's signature red paint. Something about it just irked me, it reminded me of our drives and escapades.

I needed something new but I also wanted to be reminded of you. Something that could remind me that good memories are possible for the future.

So now I have an entirely remodeled car sitting in my garage that looks and feels like you. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice to get a little glimpse of you after a rough meeting or an excruciating workout. It's practically the only car I use anymore.

Many people refer to me as high maintenance and in many regards it would be an astoundingly factual statement. However, when it comes to you, and us I don't need much. 

That doesn't mean I'm ever going to stop missing you. That feeling only increases with every moment you're gone. I've been able to cope better, with the fact you're getting the help you need, more specifically that that 'help' isn't me.

These past few years... I guess I've just gotten used to taking care of everything in my life. The company, bills, house responsibilities, wages for employees, buisness transactions, and much more. I've taken on so much that when you got hurt I expected that I'd be taking care of you too.

When that wasn't what you wanted I didn't really know how to feel. It didn't feel right to be mad, you weren't making the choice out of spite. You knew what was best for you. I guess I just felt really empty.

That whole year was spent getting closer to you than I ever had in our years as friends. I couldn't ever imagine giving you up. Then I was forced to do just that because of the Red Lotus and what they did to you.

Do you ever wonder what you’d be doing right now? I do, all the time. I wonder if I would have painted my car, or built the park in your honor. I’d like to think those things would have happened.

I’d like to think that one day I would have gotten up the courage to tell you how I felt, maybe you felt the same. Maybe you still do.

When you’re back here, whenever that is I will tell you. I’ve realized something over the past year or so, I’ve already lost you once. If given the chance It’s not going to happen again.

Saying that outloud is horrifying. Because what if I lose you anyway? On the other hand if I don’t tell you I could lose you in the sense that I’ll always wonder.

The sense of curiosity as an engineer, as a scientist, I’ll always wonder what might have been. If only I was brave enough to tell you- in person or in a letter. 

I’m not.

I’m sorry if this was alot. Really it’s just a jumble of everything running through my mind the past few weeks. 

I miss you Korra, so very much.

Love, Asami.


	8. someone even half as good as you.

Kya came back to Republic City for a short time. I'm sure you heard about it. The Southern Pole is a small place and you two are close. 

Me and Kya have surprisingly grown closer over the past couple of months, I mentioned to you that I wrote her letters right? Did I send that letter to you? Nevermind. The point is we've kept in touch, she says you're getting better. 

That you've started walking, training even. Please don't push yourself. I know you're probably excited about returning to your duties and as proud of you as I am for being so selfless, I don't want to see you hurt yourself in the process.

Everything will workout. You just have to give it time. I promise, this one I don't make lightly.

I know that soon enough you'll be back here helping us fight crime. Speaking of crime, have you heard about Kuvira?

Apparently she's out of control. I'm not one to get into gossip, nor do I want to spread rumors but the reports that have been sent out are startling. She's practically forcing city-states to join her, and if they don't agree she coerces them.

It worries me that Bolin is still working for her, I know he's gullible but something about the woman tips me off. I have a feeling that something is going to happen. Seriously, Korra, she calls herself, and I quote...."The great uniter" who does that?

Goes to show that when given positions of power people are almost always bound to take advantage. I mean think of the Earth queen, The past firelords. They all had this amazing amount of power but in the end it turned them corrupt. Maybe they always were, perhaps a turn of events along the way made them who they were and are now. Regardless, it scares me. 

Because I wield that kind of power, you wield that power. My company, your avatarhood. In terms of influence it's one in the same. Either one of us in the right circumstances could make choices that result in us becoming the likes of Kuvira or Firelord Ozai.

I think about that alot. The line between good and evil, right and wrong. How so often what should seem clear and straightforward becomes messy. We saw it with the Revolution. A movement to gain equality by hurting Benders. Then, with the civil war, one tribe simply trying to help the other, to no avail.

Everyone wants to do what they think is right. No one does something because they want to be evil. I'd like to believe that's a fact. We're all the heroes in our own story, that's a fact my father taught me. He wholeheartedly believed what he was doing was right. Just like Zaheer, and all the other Red Lotus associates.

But they were wrong. They were wrong about you, they doubted you, your abilities, the idea of even having an Avatar in some cases. They were all wrong. 

You're good. I'm not sure if it's simply you, or the combination of thousands of good people and a spirit intertwined to create a person I am so impossibly in love with. And that's a question for which I'll probably never have an answer.

All I know is you are good. A good person. A good daughter. A good friend, one of the best I've ever had. So many bad things have happened to you, yet it's never changed your heart- if anything it's made you better.

How are you so good?

And what do you see in someone like me? Enough to keep me as a friend even through all we’ve been through? I remember you told me you loved me once. 

I have my doubts you were 100% serious. It was before you went to confront Zaheer, I tried to stop you, we all did. Before you left you said those three words and for more than it’s all I can ever think about.

You didn’t mean it- not in the way I wish you did. Of course you love me, I’m your best friend as you are mine. But you’ll never love me the way I love you because you only see me as a friend.

I hate that word.

I hate that I can’t see you.

I hate that you're in too much pain to write me back, and I’m too much of a coward to do anything about it.

If I was more brave I could get on a boat right now, the South Pole is only a few days journey. I am in fact, a coward. I’ve tried more than once, buying tickets for boats, even renting my own to make a surprise trip. It never panned out.

I always managed to convince myself that you didn’t want me there. Maybe it’s the truth, maybe it’s not. But if you wanted me there you would have told me wouldn’t you?

Would you? I’m not so sure I know the answer to that.

My mind always went to the worst places. Me in a heavy trench coat, knocking on your door. Senna and Tonraq gladly letting me in. I would make my way over to your room. Ecstatic to see you after so long.

I don’t like going into detail. Let’s just say you weren’t so ecstatic. If anything I’m an overthinker. It’s my greatest protector as a business woman... and my biggest weakness as a friend.

You deserve better. Better than me, Mako, or Bolin. Someone who doesn’t delegate on every little thing. Someone who isn’t afraid to go the distance because that little shrivel of a chance you’d feel the same would be enough. You deserve that. 

You deserve what you give to us. What you give to me and the whole entire world.

I’m sorry I don’t have much to give. That the world will always take more from you than it could ever give. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the Avatar. I don’t see you as the Avatar. I see you as the person who always trusted me, who gave me a home when mine was taken, who sailed across the desert with me, who loved me for all I was. 

You were the first person to accept me as I was. You were intense and hotheaded. Sometimes you still are, and you see that in me. You see it and you embrace it. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever meet someone even half as good as you. Granted half as good is still pretty damn good.

I love you Korra. Please write me back soon, I miss you so much.

Love, Asami


	9. my emotions consume me

Dear, Korra

I'm angry. Really, really angry. I don't have the slightest idea of why. I just am.

It's not something that happens often but when it does it consumes me. I don't feel like a person anymore, not like this. Just an empty vessel. I feel like a broken piece of the person I used to be

It's my birthday today. I'm twenty-two years old. Can you believe it?

The same age my dad was when he met my mother and started his company. But here I am, alone, just like him.

It feels like everyday I'm turning more into him. Like it was always inevitable. I lashed out at one of my employees today, the same way I used to watch my father scream and berate former assistants. 

I felt so horrible I ended up giving her the week off. She was only trying to be friendly, asking if I had any plans for the night and she was met with my own insecurity filled outburst.

I really don't want to be him. I've tried to make more friends, really I have. I thought having others to talk to would take away from some of my stress but it's hard. I'm the CEO of a company which means I should be surrounded by people who want to be my friends right? Wrong.

Of course they want to be my friend, but I've found out it's for all the wrong reasons. They just want fancy nights on the town and meet and greets with other celebrities. When it comes to me and my problems, my issues and struggles they're nowhere to be found.

What do I even do? Bide my time? Use them the way they're using me to make do until you come back? I don't seem to have a lot of answers for the problems in my life, but the hole in my heart is a problem only you can solve.

It's nights like this where I'm alone in my house where I can't help pondering on better, more innocent times. I helped my dad in the workshop, played Pai-Sho with my mom, taught you how to drive, among many other memories I hold close.

When did things get this bad? 

When did you decide you weren't going to write me? 

No, that's not fair. I'm sorry- it's not your problem. I'm not you're problem.

You haven't written anyone what am I even trying to say? I'm not special, not to you. You're struggling and you shouldn't feel obligated to write to me simply because I can't move on.

That's no way to live. Not for you. You'll write to me when you feel ready and I am so sorry I'm not patient enough. I promise I'm not angry, just coping.

Trying to cope in the limited ways I know how. 

I miss you so much.

Please take care of yourself. Please come back to Republic City soon. Back to me, I need you.

Love, Asami


	10. ramble

Dear Korra, 

Did you ever get that feeling in your stomach? Some call it butterflies, others call it falling in love. I say it's a pain in the ass. I was looking through a photo album last night, full of photos of our little gang. My favorite one has taken a place on my nightstand.

It's that one of us in the Misty Palms Oasis, laughing and drinking cold drinks without a care in the world. I was so nervous, because you were so close, I had never been that close to you before. Your warmth was practically radiating off of me and when you set your hand on top of mine I never wanted you to let it go.

I don't even remember what we talked about. I just remember the laughter, the simpleness before the storm. When we could just talk for hours unafraid of hitting a sensitive subject or nervous we might drive the other away. That's all I think about now, wondering when and if you might ever come back.

Maybe you don't want to be friends anymore and for that I wouldn't blame you. I haven't been the best friend you deserved in a while. I stopped sending letters completely for the past couple of weeks, not because I don't care. I do, alot. I just don't know what to say or how to take even a fraction of the pain you must be feeling off your shoulders.

I've never been good at comfort. Not enough to help you, or my father for that matter. You're the one who excels at making people feel better, maybe it's your avatar title, perhaps it's just a matter of who you are. All I know is that it's admirable.

'Admirable', it doesn't even begin to cover it. But it seems I'm rambling again, I tend to do that alot in these letters. Not sure why, usually I'm extremely well put together, I know exactly what I need to say to you when I sit down with a pen and paper in my office preparing to write to you.

Yes, I have to prepare and every single time- it never turns out the way it's supposed to. Each letter is too selfish, too revealing, too much or too little; maybe even a combination of all or none of those things at once. Whatever the reason it makes it hard to write frequently. For that I don't have an excuse- not a good one anyhow.

Maybe when you come back I can try to make it up to you. When will you be coming back? I should ask Tenzin about that. I've heard rumours not that I would ever believe any of them unless Tenzin or Lin confirms. You know how the press is, and I of all people share that knowledge- it's truly a blessing and a curse.

Every day that goes by I try to remind myself I'm one step closer to seeing you. One step closer to being able to tell you how I feel. Soon, you'll be here, right? 

I love you so much. Please stay safe.

Love, Asami.


	11. missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will be the last letter, I plan on making a one shot years later when Korra and Asami are married where Korra finds the letters and they have a talk.

Dear Korra, 

I don’t know why I’m still doing this. I just found out you’re not at the South Pole. That you haven’t been for six months. It's not like I can send a letter to a person who is missing. Where the hell are you?

It's one thing to leave. I understand that- the need to get away from everyone and everything. I felt that way after the whole thing with my father. But leaving and not telling anyone? What are you thinking? You could be hurt or.... or dead. Korra, you need to come back. 

Or atleast write to someone so we know you're alive and safe. I flinch every time I hear the phone ring because I'm scared I'm going to get a call from Tenzin saying that they found you dead somewhere. I'm going absolutely insane, I tried organizing a search party but your dad said it'd be best not to.

He's your dad, so of course I followed his wishes but what's a better idea? Waiting? Hoping that you are alive, and not in mortal danger? I can't sit around on hope. Please, Korra, come back home. I know you don't feel ready yet and that's okay- you don't have to be 100% I don't expect that.

I need to know that you're safe.

I already lost my dad. My mom too. I survived that much. But I don’t know if I can survive losing you, because I’ve never felt this way about anybody ever in my life. I’m not a selfish person, Korra but you make me selfish. You make me want to be a better person. 

You make me feel alive in a way that I forgot the day I lost my dad. I can’t lose that. you have to come back because if you don’t I won’t survive. You have to come back because I love you and even if you don’t love me I need to know you're okay.

I should probably call Tenzin, I left air Temple Island midway through dinner. I was too upset to talk to anybody. Did you know he lets me eat at the Island every single day? He invites me whenever I forget to ask. He's practically the only family I have here other than Mako and Bolin. 

And Kya is so sweet, she’s been talking to me about a lot of things lately. my own personal issues struggling with my sexuality, and your disappearance. 

Listen, it’s not even just about me it’s about everybody here who cares about you. Kya, Lin, Tenzin, Mako and Bolin. if you don’t care about me, and it’s fine if you don’t I’m not offended because sometimes I don’t even care about me. You should care about them, because it will break them too. if that something you can live with then that’s your issue.

But please don’t do that to them, to us, to me. please come back in love with me as much as I love you. 

Come home.

Love, Asami.


End file.
